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You Need the Right Environment To Make Friends As An Autistic Adult
Bump spaces show us the role of the environment in growing friendships for all
Listening to a guest speaker at the open day for a community garden in my new neighborhood recently, I had a revelation. She was talking about bump spaces — the public spaces that provide low-pressure opportunities for people to interact with each other.
While weeding, digging and planting, you’re acting independently but in collaboration with others who share a common purpose. You learn skills and explore ideas. It provides a focus for conversation but with the freedom to flow into other topics.
For many autistic people like me, making friends doesn’t come naturally for a whole lot of reasons to do with how our and how we interact with our environment. The problem is that many of us internalise this and go through life feeling not good enough, unlikeable and socially inept. We crave connection but struggle with the ways of achieving it that are on offer.
The number of personal accounts I’ve come across recently from adults struggling to make friends suggests that the problem is more widespread. Some are brave enough to put their name to articles in mainstream publications. Many more post anonymously in Facebook groups…
