I also have an emotionally immature mother so a lot of what you are saying about yours is familiar. Reading 'adult children of emotionally immature parents' was a revelation'. Get hold of it if you haven't already. The key is to view their behaviour from a position if attachment and not seek emotional validation from them.

This is a really well written piece but I think you are selling yourself short by calling your mother a 'Karen'. It's an overused and simplistic term that doesn't fit with the complexity of your story.