I Want a Doppelganger Called Melissa
There was a conspiracy theory doing the rounds that Avril Lavigne had died and been replaced with a doppelganger. Central to the theory was that the singer had engaged a “look alike actress” to perform a range of pesky chores like posing for paparazzi.
While the suggestion is quite nuts and Ms Lavigne summarily dismissed it with a hearty laugh, you have to admit that as a concept, it has potential. I couldn’t help wondering at the endless ways a Melissa could be put to work in my life.
A winning combination of ADHD, Autism and anxiety means I’m always on the lookout for nifty ways to outsource the bits of life that suck my energy like a malfunctioning heater. Why mess about with Airtasker when you can have someone on hand 24/7?
For example, she could spare me the soul-destroying frustration of dealing with the electricity/internet/insurance provider. Return a faulty kitchen appliance. Deal with a nuisance neighbor in a way that doesn’t start World War three. I reckon Melissa would give it all a red-hot go.
It’s a given that she would be called Melissa. It’s the quintessential Gen-X name. Everyone went to school with or had a cousin called Melissa. Often, she was quite…
