Imposter Syndrome Never Ends For Late-Identified Autistics

The battle to be believed, validated and supported is ongoing

Jae L

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Photo by Alek Kalinowski on Unsplash

Long before we find the language to explain it, the life of an autistic person is defined by a state of being on the outer.

Sometimes we manage to pull it off — we learn the script, walk the walk and try and do what is expected of us. But often enough we’re reminded that belonging is conditional on our continued effort and it’s damn hard work. The moment we take our eye off the ball or slip up, we’re flung back to the periphery of human existence.

While we wouldn’t say life is easy or comfortable, many of us tick the boxes of adulthood, give or take a few years, or we’re happy just to let some go unchecked — who wants to be a slave to patriarchy and capitalism anyway?

We invest bucketloads of time and energy into approximating a functional and perhaps even successful life. Some things come easily but for other things we have to push through the discomfort and exhaustion to keep up with our peers. Or at least look like we are. What alternative to we have?

We ignore the undertow of resistance, the deep-buried feeling that we are out of sync with everyone else, a square peg in a round hole. The possibility that the world you find yourself in is…

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Jae L

Queer, neurodivergent and in the business of defying expectations. Doing my best to answer the questions I keep asking myself. diverge999@gmail.com