Instead Of Burnout, I’m Learning What Healthy Tiredness Feels Like

For decades, neurodivergent coping mechanisms prevented me tuning into my body

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Over the last few days I’ve felt tired. But it’s not the crazy ragged kind of brain-tired I’m accustomed to as a recovering masked autistic. This tired is comfortable and reassuring, like putting on a familiar but long-lost pair of slippers.

It could be because I’m recently back from a camping trip that involved an unusually high level of physical activity. Primitive survival instincts kicked in as a large chunk of my waking hours were devoted to meeting the need for food, shelter and comfort. Sleep was at a premium.

Or it could just be my aging, menopausal body catching up with me and reminding me in no uncertain terms of my physical reality.

It’s not that my body is incapable of doing anything, more that I’m feeling a compelling desire to slow down and remain within an orbit of simple activity. It’s like a magnetic pull towards something deep and primitive. I fancy that I could sleep for a week and wake up re-born.

This tiredness is asking me to surrender. To abandon the mental to-do list and stop taunting myself with guilt about being unproductive. If only I could just let go.