My Spotify Wrapped Persona Is a 14-Year-Old Girl

When your Spotify account is hijacked by your teenage daughter

Jae L

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Photo by David Pupăză on Unsplash

It’s that time of the year again. The wave that brings supermarket Christmas puddings and creeping seasonal anxiety has delivered Spotify Wrapped 2023.

Faced with a 1.5 hour window of sleeplessness in the early hours of my southern hemisphere morning, I checked my email to find Spotify’s story of me and my year. I’m curious about myself, so I flicked through the colourful bouncy graphics to find out more.

I could not take my strained eyes off the technicolour multilayered sandwich that represented the 61 genres of my listening history. I made a mental note to Google look pov:indie. and Alt Z in the more respectable hours of the morning.

Back in the day, your best source of information about someone’s musical taste was the contents of their CD tower, or depending on their vintage, perhaps their cassette stash or even their vinyl collection. This screening of musical discernment as dating rite-of-passage was immortalised in the 1990s movie, Hi-Fidelity.

These days you can do your due diligence much earlier in the dating journey if a prospective interest has been savvy enough to link their dating profile to their Spotify account.

For reasons that will soon be revealed, I have not ever linked a dating profile to my Spotify account.

Spotify Wrapped tells me that my most listened-to artists of 2023 were Olivia Rodrigo, Dominic Fike, Lana Del Rey and Taylor Swift. What’s more, I have a particular affinity with the residents of San Luis Obispo, USA who I’m told are far more likely to be fans of Fike, Rodrigo and Swift.

Apparently, it was Olivia Roderigo’s song “Vampire” that I really connected with. In fact, I’m in the top .5% of her fans and we spent 2163 minutes together, reaching a peak of intensity in October. She even had a special message for me.

I am informed that my music persona is a “Vampire”. Maybe they just use the name of your favourite song. Seems like a co-incidence. In any event, I am told: when it comes to your listening, you like to embrace a little darkness. You listen to emotional, atmospheric music more than most.

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Jae L

Queer, neurodivergent and in the business of defying expectations. Doing my best to answer the questions I keep asking myself. diverge999@gmail.com