The Very Boring Reason Why I Went Off Dating Apps

Tainted by the pandemic era, they feel even less real now

Jae L
4 min readJan 27, 2024
Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash

Being part of the queer community and not swimming in the toxic cesspool of the heterosexual dating world has insulated me from some of the horrors of dating apps.

I haven’t been in situations requiring me to shoot off location alerts or get the authorities involved. I’ve got some mildly amusing stories to tell to appreciative audiences but that’s about it.

By far my biggest problem with dating apps was that most of the time it didn’t get past chit chat within the app. The conversation followed a familiar trajectory through a standard repertoire of small talk.

Consequently, I got bored very, very quickly. It didn’t take much to distract me from it and most of the time I forgot to go back to it. It rarely compelled my attention and even more rarely sustained it.

But I refuse to accept that every queer woman who inserts themselves in dating apps is boring. That would mean tarring myself with the same brush — I’m not arrogant enough to think I’m the only interesting person around. And the reality is that even in a big city, there are few safe options to meet fellow queers.

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Jae L

Queer, neurodivergent and in the business of defying expectations. Doing my best to answer the questions I keep asking myself. diverge999@gmail.com