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When An Autistic Meltdown Turns Inward
A couple of days ago I had a meltdown. At least that’s what I realised it was after the fact. At the time it felt as though the world was closing in on me.
Yet when it finally passed, I went about my business as usual and no-one was any the wiser. It had all happened internally as I suffered in silence.
The word meltdown tends to evoke certain images and thoughts when Autistic people are being talked about.
Perhaps the most common scenario involves a child, perhaps in a crowded shopping centre. It’s likely to be loud, highly visible and to attract people’s attention. Many onlookers will blame the parent because they assume that the child’s actions are a tantrum; the failure to avert it the result of poor parenting.
The focus is rarely on the inner experience of the child and the circumstances that precipitated a level of distress that had nowhere else to go. The focus is on the outward expression of that distress and how it looks through the eyes of onlookers.
The focus is on behaviour.
So much of the narrative around autism, particularly Autistic children is about behaviour and the effect of that behaviour on those around them. There’s…
