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Where Is The Support For Late-Identified Autistics?
When you’re middle-aged and Autistic and burnout becomes a permanent state of being, it’s time for a circuit breaker. A few days ago I resigned from my job. I’ve been in the role for 5 years and the same employer for 18. No great surprise that I was ready for a change. But what’s notable is that I have no plans to look for another job any time soon.
I quite simply have not been able to sustain working a regular job, being a parent, running a household and managing all the other stuff that life throws up: parental bereavement, moving house, and complicated family relationships. It means that there’s nothing left over and the little things can bring me undone. Rarely a day goes by now when I don’t have a meltdown of some kind. They’re usually in private but it doesn’t diminish the shame and exhaustion afterwards.
It’s a sure sign of burnout that meltdowns are always bubbling below the surface. My threshold is low so that my capacity to absorb the slings and arrows just isn’t there. Objectively low-level problems feel overwhelming and insurmountable.
The level of support that might have helped me hold it together has eluded me. When I was a child, my primary caregiver (in name, not action) shamed me…
